Lost, but Surviving.

Would I be proud of me?

Would I be proud of the life I lived?
Would I be proud of where I had got to?
Would I be proud of the mistakes I had made?
Would I be proud of the path I had taken?
Would I be proud of my decade?
Would I be proud of my journey?




Would I be proud of me?







No.




Would I allow myself to be proud of me?







No.




I would be embarrassed for the self-loathing & wasted time I allowed myself to have.

I would be disgraced with my career.

I would be confused about the hurt I caused.

I would be annoyed with the decisions I made.

I would be upset with my mental health journey.

I would be frustrated at me.






But...




I have travelled a long path.
I am who am I today for the path I travelled down.
I wouldn't be who I am today without the scars of yesterday.
My life is still young, and I can still blossom in this life.
I can nurture both for myself, and them.




I cannot stop time. I cannot reverse time. All I can do is exist in it. Bob & flow as it ebbs like it always has & will.

I love all the same. I exist all the same. I am, therefore I will be, therefore I can be.

I am always the same me.




I can continue to love me.




I am proud of me, in despite of me.




How can I be more proud in this next decade?

#fleeting-thoughts